Conquer the Controllable: a mindset change for success

BACKGROUND

In my previous blog post https://www.dtpierce.com/post/conquering-the-controllable-a-mindset-transformationthat (you probably haven't read), I painfully summarized my younger years and how negative life events, along with an annoying but useful comment from my father, transformed my mindset. A transformation best described as: Conquer the Controllable with Savviness, Moxie, and Mettle - a mindset change for success.

DEFINING "CONQUER THE CONTROLLABLE"

I'd like to take some time to explore the first aspect of the above mantra: 'Conquer the Controllable'.

I can hear certain readers now. "D.T. - you made something up that sounds catchy but makes absolutely zero sense." Or, "That makes too much sense to be of any importance" - basically, duh. "How is something that makes so much sense going to provide me any value?". Good for you people on possessing an involuntary critical personality that drives me to continuously consider the thoughts of those who I'll probably never meet but must win over with charm, charisma, wit, and just a dusting of evidence to support my wildly unproven theories about life.

I promise I didn't use an AI generator to come up with the saying, nor did I spend more than 100 hours in a silent retreat reflecting upon how to best summarize my life in a mantra - although, now that I think about it, you'll never be able to prove one way or another. As for the value, well, I guess that's what the comment section is for.

I digress, so let's back to the "Conquer the Controllable". Let's start with some definitions, shall we?

Conquer: to successfully overcome a problem or weakness.

The: denoting one or more people or things already mentioned or assumed to be common knowledge (having some fun with this one).

Controllable: capable of being directed or influenced.

So, If i take a little from here and a little from there at my will (it's never really that dangerous to ignore the whole of something for snip-its that we smash together for our benefit, right?). Conquer the Controllable means: to successfully overcome a problem by taking actions that are capable of directing or influencing a desired outcome. BOOM! And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad (credit to Rupert Holmes' "Escape", better known as "If you like pina coladas").

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

Let's tumble down the rabbit hole together. Conquer means to successfully overcome. What I want to focus on here is "overcome". In order to overcome something you must first identify it, then you must engage it. No one ever conquered anything from simply sitting around - other than maybe a Guinness book world record for longest period sitting or worst hygiene, or something to do with video games, or writing a book, or pottery - OK! I guess you can accomplish a lot from sitting around. My point is that you have take mental and/or physical action against something in order to conquer it.

Taking "successfully" from the conquer definition: to successfully overcome, I challenge your mindset. We often attribute success to a finite resolution.

Example goal: My goal was to lose 20lbs, and I'll be happy (successful) when I lose 20lbs. This mindset fails us as we often achieve then revert, ending up in a never ending vicious cycle of success and defeat.

Example of what typically happens: My goal was to lose 20lbs, I lost 20lbs, then gained 30lbs a year later.

Instead, I challenge you to change your view of success from a finite point to a growth mentality. As humans, we will always want more. Something different. No success of a single action will sustain us through the rest of our lives. Life is a journey, so too should are goals be. A more appropriate goal around weight would be: I want to live healthier for the rest of my life, which includes an exercise routine, healthier food, and smaller portions. Weight loss becomes a byproduct of a healthier lifestyle that is sustained for years to come. Success and accomplishment then becomes an inward satisfaction of the thoughts and actions we have taken over time that are sustained. We may fail from time to time, but our trajectory, over time, is growing positively.

Clear as mud? Great. Let's move on to "Controllable."

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

Within the phrase "Conquer the Controllable," controllable refers to the pursuit of actions we can influence in order to achieve our goal.

Example of something we can't control: I want to live healthier by exercising, and I want an accountability partner. However, the person I trust to be an accountability partner possesses a rock steady disposition that working out is a complete and utter waste of time. As a matter of fact, he/she has written numerous papers on how exercise will eventually result in death. You, as a result, spend a significant amount of time and energy attempting to influence the mindset of your friend, instead of exercising. Your friend's view on exercise is not something you have control over, and you're failing to engage your action to achieve a desired outcome.

Example of something we can control: I want to live healthier by exercising, and I want an accountability partner. You realize you have an hour lunch break, and your company amazingly has a gym onsite. Instead of watching videos on social media, you begin working out at lunch, become friends with someone else who exercises at the same time, and eventually work up the courage to ask them to become your accountability partner. You can't necessarily control your new friend's response, but for this example I'm going to assume your personalities align enough and you become BFFs!

In summary, Conquer the Controllable refers to a mindset shift where we identify a healthy goal and apply our time and energy towards actions that we have influence over in order to achieve said goal. The idea is to avoid putting time, effort, and resources into actions we have no control. Live in the present. The past has come and gone and the future is yet to unfold. The door has closed with one while the other holds limitless possibilities. Root your actions in the now, understand what you can influence, and adjust your mindset on the definition of success (growth vs. finite resolution).

CHALLENGE

Here's my challenge. Identify an action you are currently putting time, effort, resources into that you have no control over. Then, identify what goal the action is tied to. From there, identify alternative actions that you have control over that will positively impact the same goal (modify the goal if needed - if it is finite rather than growth focused).

Let me know what you think in the comments, share how you've come to realized something similar in your own life, or how you're applying the above to something now.

https://www.dtpierce.com/post/conquering-the-controllable-a-mindset-transformation